Demian, I so struggle with trust…I go completely mob style when that trust is broken — you’ll never have access to me again and I’m grossly frigid. I’m working to maintain the importance of trust (because it’s damn important) but not going nuclear when it’s broken 🤍
Oh, dear Caroline, I struggle with trust, too! Thank you for sharing your relationship with trust and the impact breaking it has on you.
I don't get so mad when it's broken, historically anyway. It definitely hurt, deep into the very core of me, but my relationship with broken trust was to prove the offender can trust *me* to be there for them, no matter what!
I know, massive eye rolling here, but it's a response that goes way, way back as part of my grooming.
Another part to that grooming is that breaking trust falls into the "What you say is more important than what you do" category. So if you broke my trust, and then said the magic words--"I love you" or acted all happy to see me, and told me how much I meant to you., etc.. well, then THAT was the reality--that you loved me, not that you betrayed me.
Of course, it's NOT, but nonetheless, that was the dynamic, and man, did I run into people who were ever so happy to take advantage of it, both male and female. It's taken me many, many years to break out of it, layer by layer. But I finally got here, much to the chagrin and shock of those who had benefited from the old templates of my childhood.
Very proud of the tenacity and work I put into it, and the gratitude I now feel. But holy wow, when I look at the damage those two dynamics caused, that's its own kind of pain!
I suspect that it will always be something I'll need to mindful of. And that's okay. I'm living more present in my body, occupying space and taking up time without apology, and feel my worth as a human being, more than I ever thought I would. That's something to celebrate! ❤️ ❤️
Demian, I so struggle with trust…I go completely mob style when that trust is broken — you’ll never have access to me again and I’m grossly frigid. I’m working to maintain the importance of trust (because it’s damn important) but not going nuclear when it’s broken 🤍
Oh, dear Caroline, I struggle with trust, too! Thank you for sharing your relationship with trust and the impact breaking it has on you.
I don't get so mad when it's broken, historically anyway. It definitely hurt, deep into the very core of me, but my relationship with broken trust was to prove the offender can trust *me* to be there for them, no matter what!
I know, massive eye rolling here, but it's a response that goes way, way back as part of my grooming.
Another part to that grooming is that breaking trust falls into the "What you say is more important than what you do" category. So if you broke my trust, and then said the magic words--"I love you" or acted all happy to see me, and told me how much I meant to you., etc.. well, then THAT was the reality--that you loved me, not that you betrayed me.
Of course, it's NOT, but nonetheless, that was the dynamic, and man, did I run into people who were ever so happy to take advantage of it, both male and female. It's taken me many, many years to break out of it, layer by layer. But I finally got here, much to the chagrin and shock of those who had benefited from the old templates of my childhood.
Very proud of the tenacity and work I put into it, and the gratitude I now feel. But holy wow, when I look at the damage those two dynamics caused, that's its own kind of pain!
I suspect that it will always be something I'll need to mindful of. And that's okay. I'm living more present in my body, occupying space and taking up time without apology, and feel my worth as a human being, more than I ever thought I would. That's something to celebrate! ❤️ ❤️