Great post Demian! Listening is a skill that is definitely underrated. I can't think of a single event or person at the moment. But your sentence below stood out to me. I experience that all the time. Someone is lying in wait to pounce into the conversation with what they want to say, regardless of the flow of what others are saying. You put it perfectly.
"It’s like you’re an in-the-flesh journal prompt for them to use in their processing."
David, thank you! I so appreciate your kind words and thoughts!
I agree, listening is underrated, and often buried in cliches. It's so powerful in its positive impact. Unfortunately, it can be twisted around to hurt others, too, being a favorite tool of predators and cultists in grooming or recruiting new victims-- making people feel seen and heard, love bombing them with their attention, rephrasing or repeating, using all the techniques of active listening in the early phases, not to honor the human dignity of anybody, but to fatten the calf, if you will, for their own consumption.
Maybe there's another post in there...
Anyway, I think the more vulnerable you make yourself in interactions with someone, the more mindful you need to be aware of not only what someone can give you, in terms of advice, wisdom, insights, and guidance, but how well or capable (or willing) they are of *receiving* from you... your story, and everything that interconnects with that. In a therapeutic relationship, that's essential.
And "pounce"? Such a good word! I really dislike it it when that happens to me, but it bothers me even more when I see it happen to another person, especially when I know or feel they're on the more introvert or quiet side. Sometimes, I can't help myself, and will wait for the opportune moment to do some pouncing myself to give the floor back to the interrupted person. But the momentum has already been changed, so it is a very irritating situation.
You got me thinking some more, David. Thanks for being here 😊
Was there a person or event that made you become visible, where you felt seen and heard? How did that affect you?
Great post Demian! Listening is a skill that is definitely underrated. I can't think of a single event or person at the moment. But your sentence below stood out to me. I experience that all the time. Someone is lying in wait to pounce into the conversation with what they want to say, regardless of the flow of what others are saying. You put it perfectly.
"It’s like you’re an in-the-flesh journal prompt for them to use in their processing."
David, thank you! I so appreciate your kind words and thoughts!
I agree, listening is underrated, and often buried in cliches. It's so powerful in its positive impact. Unfortunately, it can be twisted around to hurt others, too, being a favorite tool of predators and cultists in grooming or recruiting new victims-- making people feel seen and heard, love bombing them with their attention, rephrasing or repeating, using all the techniques of active listening in the early phases, not to honor the human dignity of anybody, but to fatten the calf, if you will, for their own consumption.
Maybe there's another post in there...
Anyway, I think the more vulnerable you make yourself in interactions with someone, the more mindful you need to be aware of not only what someone can give you, in terms of advice, wisdom, insights, and guidance, but how well or capable (or willing) they are of *receiving* from you... your story, and everything that interconnects with that. In a therapeutic relationship, that's essential.
And "pounce"? Such a good word! I really dislike it it when that happens to me, but it bothers me even more when I see it happen to another person, especially when I know or feel they're on the more introvert or quiet side. Sometimes, I can't help myself, and will wait for the opportune moment to do some pouncing myself to give the floor back to the interrupted person. But the momentum has already been changed, so it is a very irritating situation.
You got me thinking some more, David. Thanks for being here 😊