Silent No More is a supportive community, not a support group. You are welcome to share your experiences in the comments, but know that I am a fellow traveler on the healing journey, and not a certified therapist.
Audio of post + song, Something More
(Something More, by itself, and lyrics, are further down the page)
I want to inspire, and encourage as many people as possible. Please share with someone you know or love who may benefit from my writings. Thank you!
Welcome, Dear One, to the First Day of Fall, or Spring, depending on which hemisphere you live! It’s only right that the relaunch of Silent No More should occur on this day of transition, moving from one season to the next, a new cycle of living, a new stage of being.
Silent No More is my heartfelt reaching out to those who have an ambivalent relationship with their past, whether recent or long ago.
It’s for you who may carry wounds that impact the present, and affect the future.
It’s for you who have been sexually abused, and you, who have not, who have lost or had stolen, your sense of wonder, your trust in others and in yourself, your ability to live in present moments, your sense of dignity and worth as a human being.
Silent No More is learning to see through the smokescreens of gaslighting, manipulation, and exploitation, and listening to the reliable witness, that you are, to your own experiences.
It’s being in the company of others with shared experiences, receiving the gifts of their insights and wisdom, and if right for you, sharing yours.
Who am I? I am a daughter of a pedophile.
I know what it’s like to feel the pain and longing of a wounded heart, a pain, that for me, arose from being groomed, where abuse became “love”, and a father’s betrayal twisted into “something special”, by calling the supply he raised and grew, “Daddy’s girl”.
I know I’m more than his daughter. I’m an artist activist, an advocate for others, for human rights and human dignity. I’m one of many daughters of our mother earth, a song poet, a grandmother with an amazing family.
But I also know the truth of my father.
The pain, I cannot believe I survived, is as much a part of me as anything else, as much a part of me as the early morning tea and conversations I used to have with my sister and mother; as the evenings lying under the stars, calling out the first stars we saw.
These memories arise from within the same time frames, the beautiful and tender, the horrific and heartrending. They are found in the deep wells of emotion, of hidden memories waiting in the shadows, backstage, together.
I tried to suppress one over the other to survive… often losing them both.
Now, I am reclaiming them to live.
🍂 Change 🍂
I love the changes in color of Fall, the brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows of deciduous trees, low-hanging light casting a golden sheen; the sounds of leaves crunching under my feet, the rushes of wind through treetops like waves on the shore; and the smells, the feel of autumn, crisp, cool air in my lungs, warmth of sun on my face, and rich smell of earth.
The equinoxes are about standing at the gate of change, your hand on the latch. It’s the balance-before, when night and day are the same length of time… that pause before a decision… neither exhaling or inhaling… that moment… before the flick of your wrist opens the gate, and sets your compass to the next season of your living.
I love the artistry of an exquisitely held breath.
Listen…
🎶 song only: SOMETHING MORE
By Demian Yumei Produced and recorded by Stacey Young In that magic hour when the sun bends low Kissing the horizon a touch of liquid gold Every tree a shimmer waiting for the night And the rising of the first star, still hidden out of sight Something more Deep within my heart I know there’s something more Deep into the night A call I can’t ignore Telling me there’s something… There must be something more… Quiet sadness, change often feels that way Leaving what I’ve always known, take a chance to find my way Twilight falls around me, still I’m not alone and though I cannot always see, I know I’m going Home Something more Deep within my heart I know there’s something more Deep into the night A call I can’t ignore Telling me there’s something… There must be something more… Is this all these is? I have so much more to give…. Something more Deep within my heart I know there’s something more Deep into the night A call I can’t ignore Telling me there’s something… There must be something more… Something more…
So, dear one, where is your heart leading you?
What does taking that step into another season, a new cycle of living, a new way of being mean to you?
I’d love to hear your perspective! Please feel free to give voice to your thoughts, as is right for you, in the comments below.
And thank you for welcoming in this truly magical season with me. I hope you’ll join me on this healing journey, by subscribing. And if you can think of anyone who may benefit from my writings, and this space, please share this post or audio with them.
With all my heart,
Demian Elaine’ Yumei
~ Silent No More
Thank you to
for this lovely graphic of birds, a gift from you when I subscribed. (There were other graphics, too, lots! Perfect to use as dividers.) Thank you!
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