Keeping the Dream Alive
Song written for the Students of Tiananmen Square, and all who suffer the trauma of betrayal
On this Creative Friday, I would like to share a bit of how I use the creative process to help me in my healing, and to reach out and connect with others. Whatever I create, whether in writing, song or spoken-word performances, the main impetus behind my work is to bring encouragement and to inspire hope.
So I’m going to tell you a little story of how I came to write and record a song, Keeping the Dream Alive, that I’ve sung in my human rights activism over the years for asylum seekers, and finally, the students I had originally written it for. (Edited to add: The song file is embedded for listening further down in this article.)
May-June of 1989
I’m standing in my living room, staring at the television screen, and watching the wave of students and their supporters sweep into Tiananmen Square.
It’s breathtaking. I am in awe.
Initially, there’s euphoria. There’s hope and conviction among the students and their supporters. There’s even dancing.
But when the military moves in on orders of the CCP or the Chinese Communist Party, images of violence fill the screen. I fall to my knees and weep.
I grieve for the students. I know the survivors will struggle with trauma and guilt. I know the CCP will let them. I know they will be blamed.
I want to tell the students, It’s not your fault. The dream you held didn’t do this. Your government did.
Struggling from my own childhood trauma, I need to tell myself, It’s not my fault. My trust didn’t betray me—someone who was supposed to protect me did.
A message for the students
So I wrote a song, Keeping the Dream Alive. It would be another 11 years before I would sing it for the students at a Candlelight Memorial in Washington, DC, in 2000.
It was growing dark. A few were still lighting their candles.
I began to sing, and as I reached the part where the chorus repeats, I heard voices drifting back to me. It took a moment, before I realized that the Chinese in the audience, some of whom were students from Tiananmen Square in ‘89, were singing in Mandarin, their Chinese words intermingling with the English lyrics. I never heard anything so beautiful.
It was magical. Time seemed to hold its breath.
Recreating the experience
So here’s the little backstory where we created that moment in the studio.
That night when I returned home, I called my friend and songwriting partner, Stacey Young, and I told him we had to record the chorus in Mandarin. I wanted to mix the English and the Mandarin tracks together. I would sing the repeating chorus in Mandarin and harmonize with myself, and we would add those tracks to the other vocal tracks we had already recorded.
Yi Danxuan who was a sophomore in college in 1989, and one of the student leaders in the student democracy movement, taught me how to sing the chorus in Mandarin. He gave me lessons over the phone. He was so patient.
My Chinese friends say that I pronounced the words just fine, though I’m not sure they would be totally honest about that, because they are that sweet and kind! And I know they appreciated what we were doing.
I will say that I had problems with one word, in particular, so we recorded it one way on a track, and then another way on another track to get the right sound when we combined them together. The result was subtle, but it sounded more authentic, at least to our ears.
However successful or not, writing and recording Keeping the Dream Alive was a labor of love. Singing it in person to the students, survivors and supporters, was a dream come true.
Hold on to your dream
I would like to say to you, whether you’re figuring out how to extricate yourself from an abusive situation, large or small, or realize you can’t at the moment, keep your dream alive within you. Hold it close.
Even when, out of necessity, your dreams must remain hidden, they can make a difference, if to no one else, then to you. And that matters, because you matter. And who knows what seeds your dreams can plant, what doors they have yet to open, or are, maybe, already in the process of opening?
Audio of Keeping the Dream Alive
…who knows what seeds your dreams can plant…
Credits
Lead vocal, lyrics and melody by Demian Yumei; recorded and engineered by the extraordinary Stacey Young; produced by Stacey Young and Demian Yumei; Cello and keyboards by Stacey Young; Flute by Chris Davis; Voices of the people: Demian, Stacey, Dionna Yumei Novin, John Terlazzo, Chris Davis.
Youngest Voice: Edna Zhou
Keeping the Dream Lyrics
I heard the anguished cries Saw them fall and die A dream turn nightmare The soul in despair A part of me dies But the dream still survives  Keeping the dream alive Safe in me it will survive Someday I'll see the way it can be I'm keeping the dream alive - in me  I won't turn my love to hate For the dream dies with that mistake I'll honor the dead And choose life instead My passion will burn Till the Goddess returns
Keeping the dream alive Safe in me it will survive Someday I'll see the way it can be I'm keeping the dream alive - in me  Keeping the dream alive I'm keeping the dream alive in me             Repeat six times Someday I'll see the way it can be I'm keeping the dream alive  Someday I'll see the way it can be I'm keeping the dream alive - in me
Until next time, be true to yourself, to the light in your heart, to who you are and who you are becoming, always.
~demian yumei
Keeping the Dream